Hate me

You hate that I have guys friends
You hate that I like going out to the bars
You hate that I am friendly
You hate that you are not all I have to do.

You are so jealous all of the time
You are so damn insecure
You are so overprotective, like chill... I am NOT A LITTLE GIRL.

How is it I can be myself around you but at the same time I can't\
I feel stuck unable to see the future or if you and I are there.

Losing myself because of my lack of writing

Life feels like a constant string of responsibilities:

Taking care of my dad and being a part of my family, taking care of my dog, work responsibilities, being a girlfriend to a man I feel I am sometimes so different from..

My social life needs and my love and responsibilities to my friends.

I stopped doing things that make me feel like myself.

I do not work out anymore, I don't eat healthy anymore, I do not write stories anymore and I do not do poetry anymore...

An old friend asked me...

Hey I haven't seen you in a long time.... how's your writing going?

I almost cried.

Wiring is a part of me, it is partly how I define myself and it is what helps me understand myself, the world, and MYSELF IN THIS WORLD.

Today I promise I will get back to it.