I hate the holidays

I hate holidays

the bullshit of a christmas spirit

you are all the same

before and after the tree

some of you will never change

Leaving you all for a far away land

At every corner with the questions the doubt

what was once a solid feeling feels more empty with the more and more holes poked

deflating the hope I have

debating if I know this feeling to be true

realizing it is probably not

So separated from the world, I feel lonelier every day

So dubious about all the relationships in my life

More dubious with time and the time slows every day

I am filled with sorrow and strife

I wish I could disappear

Far far far away from you all

Never a love again

Close your eyes and imagine in the depth of your heart a love so strong and intense that even after its end it leaves leaves it scar.

Your brain thinking
Is my heart sinking
My heart wincing
Barely surviving
Always choking
Low key hoping
But always knowing

Never again...

#KeepFamiliesTogether

A mother cries
As her spirit dies

She's not letting go
Because she doesn't know

The next time she'll see her son
He'll be lost among the ton

Of the separated children
That for all she knows will be hidden

These thruths, Founding Thoughts, Forgotten Truths

I lose my sense of direction as I read and analyze  these imperfections of a world so spiteful so hateful, and it spreads like an infection.
This revelation is creating a dissatisfaction, causing my inclination to think positive about our society, to commence disintegration. A fact that further shoves me into exasperation.
Desolation in the faces of those who are living in a society without redemption. An expression that breaks my heart and soul making me feel more vulnerable to oppression...
I will not let it win.

Rhetoric that cuts deeper and deeper into the backs of those who flee to this country in search of freedom, of those who love this country. Tell me something..

How can we save our humanity in the face of such insanity, in the face of immorality, that's slowly breaking away at my belief of the possibility that we can be a nation of inclusivity. We just have to...

Stay united as whole, even though it takes a toll, even though they wanna rip out the soul, of what really makes America great.

The melting pot, the saving spot, the country whose founding thoughts, were to give people a shot.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" Whose truth is that? Are YOU true to that?

Thoughts in peril

Mentally lost and physically alone

My trust in people right now, completely blown

No love in my life and hardly any friends who shown

Their faces around me anymore

Old cry for help found whilst on an airplane

To get the ball rolling on my weekend from lovers memory past going, I opened a book I had last read some of months ago. It saddened me to see one of my... lets call it, a declaration of panic" note:

"Mad as hell my hands shaking
legs vibratin
And still
I sit still here
Frozen
Heart beating fast and chest tightening
can barely hear
tears threaten to spill
Spill. Spill. Spill.
But I have to look tough
In front of everyone here
in front of HIM

WHO GHOSTED MY LIFE
WHOSE LOSS OF LOVE HAS PUT ME IN STRIFE
HEART STABBED BY A KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE

WHO HAS NOW POPS UP AND LOOKS AT MY STORY
WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT HOW SORRY

that. would. make. me. feel. of. myself...
Loving you has strengthened by belief

That I Am Not Meant To Be Happy."