To get the ball rolling on my weekend from lovers memory past going, I opened a book I had last read some of months ago. It saddened me to see one of my... lets call it, a declaration of panic" note:
"Mad as hell my hands shaking
legs vibratin
And still
I sit still here
Frozen
Heart beating fast and chest tightening
can barely hear
tears threaten to spill
Spill. Spill. Spill.
But I have to look tough
In front of everyone here
in front of HIM
WHO GHOSTED MY LIFE
WHOSE LOSS OF LOVE HAS PUT ME IN STRIFE
HEART STABBED BY A KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE
WHO HAS NOW POPS UP AND LOOKS AT MY STORY
WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT HOW SORRY
that. would. make. me. feel. of. myself...
Loving you has strengthened by belief
That I Am Not Meant To Be Happy."
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