Irritation at the Realization of How I Feel

REJECTED by the lack of attraction
Creates tension
a whirl of emotion
a thirst for devotion
and it has me PARCHED.

There's a deep confusion
About this illusion
That I now feel I concocted myself.

When in turn there is a profusion
of emotion
that sits stirring in my belly

I crave an absolution
That the intrusion
Of this vulnerability is not my fault

Sometimes I see the fluctuation
of how others see me
A dissipation of the image in which others regard me...
 crumbles my soul

Is there a correlation of this intense eradication of the person I thought I was?
My behavior vs. Who I truly am?

My only consolation relies in the attention of those I think love me most
This infatuation that I have on my image will result in the disillusion of who I am...


There is a part of me scared I will eventually not be desirable and the ugliness inside me will break through and push away anyone that loves me.