3 Steps forward, 100 steps back.... A broken hearts path

There was so much underlying pain already so present and they were consistently cursing through every vain

I put my ego, my pride, my walls, my guard down for a love that caused me almost as much pain as bliss and there were massive amounts of bliss

I had faith a felt that felt this good had to be something meant to be so I took so much humiliation in hopes that in the end was worth it, but it was all in vain

You did not claim me as yours and with each day adding insult by your tenacity in not letting go of a loves past, and I could no longer dismiss...

Our obvious differences in realities in how grand I thought this love to be. It was impossible not to resent this love that eclipsed ours still unto that day

At times it felt necessary to hide behind the debris that remained from the walls broken down, in order to catch my breath and attempt turning from this love so overwhelming that I constantly got lost inside

Attempts failing deeply, I'd give in to the love again but only to eventually brought down again by continuous lack of sharing himself completely and being unable to say he loved me without the glimmer of another lovers name on his tongue, I still remember the day:

I came across a letter to this old love about a dramatic between us, instantly degraded, deflated, and stripped of any pride I felt within our relationship, After that I knew I must decide...

If this love could survive or would I die inside without him. 

Months later still battling uphill in recovering from the hurricane of emotions that was us, I am having to revisit these painful memories in hopes of helping a friend caught in her own emotional accident site at the hands of her now ex-lover. 

A strong ass woman with the strongest character, was now sobbing at the edge of my bed. Tears flooding so hard, chest seizing from the inability to breathe, and cheeks reddening with madness, it took me back to the tears and depression I was left in after my own hearts catastrophe, leaving me lifeless and in the dark...

I had to share with my dear friend, how she is not alone, for I too was in the same insanity over the loss of my biggest life's love, and I too had to explain and show her

That she will eventually feel better. She then asked me if it ever really stops hurting, and to my dismay I realized.... it does not, forever living with a broken heart

Reliving those thoughts and emotions has made my days grey...